The Hand That Holds The Broom

‘Oh you guys had 9/11?! We got 26/11…can we be friends now and play please??? How about that…any of those deals btw…I’ll give you my pink broom.’

One political game after another…feels like you are back in those Neanderthal days when hunting was the only game/ occupation/ requirement…anything you want to call it. Devouring over an innocent’s soul…let me correct that…souls of many many innocents…

I kept wondering why I never did get around to writing about the Mumbai attacks…a loved one is there, it was a city that created homes for many and much more to come, more than that it was unexpected (at least for the civilian). And then…there happened something that shook my world.

Have you ever felt that terror shake from every nerve that made you? Are you a woman?

The scene is as follows. We got birds chirping (birds in various pretty colors), we got the autumn breeze…lets make it a nice January breeze alright, young students from varied origins hanging around in cafés…imagine you are standing in one of those locations you’d call ‘cute’. Feels relaxed doesn’t it…this breath of fresh air…

CUT TO

A bunch of vulgar looking men, pounce at the group of those young things you were smiling at a moment ago. Women are flung across and physically abused at…few boys get hit. Men are beating up these GIRLS…

END SHOT

Oops! Not so cute after all eh. Man! It’s like it’s just your loo that’s peaceful in this world!! I’m sure you’re a politician…rather you were one, until you broke all ties with a political party and figured you were good to go ahead, get the best of all worlds, all parties…all LEFT, RIGHT, WRONG (I’m not getting too political am I??). So you knew werewolves attack at daytime huh…you attended the secret meeting and then just stood there while GIRLS were brutally handled…

Where did you go!!! Man did you see that footage!!! Omigod…the girls!!! Who would do such a thing??? And then comes out the various status messages from our country people, the bloggers, the silent revolution that I cant hear because those girls were yelling…

Without judging if they were innocent or not, doing drugs, hanging out, came from troubled homes and have very few getaways…putting all that aside…well why the hell should we put every goddamn thing aside!!! Who cares where these kids came from??? If you were like me (very unlikely though), then Mangalore is a town that we know has few colleges and probably a nice weather around it. Period. What happens when right in front of you, there is such a gory footage that runs across every news channel, debates, opinion polls, polls about the debates, debates about the result of the polls…so on and so forth. All this when India was celebrating her 60th Republic Day amidst such tight security. Yippee! Happy Birthday??? Happy Republic Day India??? You guys safe na…we’ll handle our shit, as long as OUR ELECTED LEADERS are OKAY!!!

Repulsive as it was to watch, unimaginable what would have happened…what is to become of the girls…the victims??? Then again…it was just that the media got there and ours is a fairly huge country…


Simultaneously, somebody who needed a visa to step into MY country, walks around, camera in hand, shoots it for the world to see and then what do you have...awww...pity and sympathy towards us. "Aww you poor guys go through THAT?? Let us help you!" Et voila..gold dust above your head, the same dust that annoyed me...I got rid of it.

Jai Ho you guys, may the politicians and those with power to make a difference, continue succumbing to pressure and have fun with the blame-game in the meantime. Let’s watch the authorities serve and protect film stars and other inconspicuous people…we’re fine.

We GIRLS & WOMEN are fine all over the world!!!


P.S: Will shortly return with something romantic to write, ‘cos we’re always told to move on.

Truth & Reality...The War Continues!!!

Supposing that God created this world...did it ever occur to you how much of patience he had to have to see it done...with all that drama about elements coming together...then of course, the whole deal with sorting things out...the where's and how's of creation...It's quite the irony that here we are mostly abusing/disrespecting all that perseverance. From nowhere it occurred to me about how things would have been otherwise...like if our nose was shaped/placed differently...you know something as simple as that.

What if things were not what they are? Is it because we all look so similar that it seems perfect? Why then do most of us strive to beat the cliche and rise up victorious against all odds...how is it that the human mind is sooooo erratic sooooo random...so independent (imperfect even) ?

As humans, we seem to be constantly challenged with so much that we stopped appreciating, loving...just being. It takes a whole load of faith to write down that script and actually believe that it's workable...even a critically acclaimed blockbuster!!! It takes a whole load of faith to pray for a friend's nightmare to end...to actually believe in this 'light at the end of the tunnel' concept. Boy it takes a miracle to make love work...you just don't want to give up...no signs yet.

Funnily though, it's when you stop for a breather and look back that things seem different...not what you mostly wanted it to be. So by looking back do you not look ahead? There's no denying of life that was so far...is that a lesson? But that poor lil' script...that movie desperate to be made...begging that you make it...you wrote it dammit! Well...it's not just the movie i'm talking about...more obvious than that.

The question is...well there are a lot of questions that need an answer. When your conviction does not pay, what more does it take? When your patience is sneered at by others...then what???

If I AM the new saint for the decade...what are you??? Haaa haa haaaaaa....

Mind Jobs On Discount!!!

This is one of 'those' blogs...thot abt it last nite, shud ve jus typed then...mind is completely blank...rather...how 2 put it in words...

That was the issue...how DO you put it in words?? Then you do somehow, miraculously put it in words...and then now how the hell do u put words/thots in action?is it enough if you say it/type it/write it...when do you realize enough is enough, lemme keep up to my words?and then its tat stupid chain reaction shit...every action has its reaction bla bla bla. Alrite...i'm still wavering wid putting my thots into words...but you see that's the point here...

Quite sometime back, things were wut they seemed - no complications, no false promises...actually nothing! and now...a verdict is passed, an initiative...and what a void it has created. a fren, a very close fren asked me why fear is the in thing now...it overrules all our actions/decisions/thots.we aren't even fearing fear, just graciously accepting it!i'm sitting here wondering what's worse...fear or expectation or omigod...hope!

There was a moment last nite when i had a whole load o emotions hit me at the same time...i'm telling you...all at one go.it was love, it was a fight, it was anger, it was a crumbling down of faith, hope, belief, nostalgia of gud, gr8 and bad things, crashing down...well it felt really weird.how do you get a point across to someone...in how many ways, how much of time? how do you convey to ppl that there are misconceptions in the world and they affect.everything comes with a price tag, doesn't it...family, friends, work...a script.dammit!!!

Was trying to tell someone to let go of wutever it is that is stopping them from acting...reacting.be it fear, be it any damn thing...(wut the hell is dis any damn thing btw??) wut is it thats stopping you man...there aint nothing to lose...you know it!fight it outta ur system!change???...change!!!

Then much later into the nite...i figured out sth...a solution.an option.ta-dah!here i am sitting in fear of wut the hell tat mite lead to...she's rite...fear really is doing the rounds. but u know...arnd the same time she and i had a talk abt fear was when i was confronted wid mine...palms r sweaty, knees weak, arms r heavy...i did it...i lost myself and there i was...SMI-friggin-LING!!!haa haa haa...feels like a joke...like a number done onto u...who's trippin on who???

When its fear...you just beat arnd da bush.when confronted you r takin a big ass chance...da result of which u land up writing a blog tat makes no sense anymore...tat once had a purpose last nite, but now is lost...

Is there no mountain higher???

Well...prev blog was put up on 1st of Aug. It's 27th Nov today. something' s changed yet nothing.i ve become someone yet nothing.turn around to find out its all about double standards.almost believing it.

shud have gone by now.turns out its not just Alice who kept tumbling down the rabbit hole.

this line keeps running in my head 'its not yet time maybe'...who/what decides that?surely would love to turn and change my world.be the sunrise in my universe!yuck!point is...an idea hits u at the weirdest hour...if only that hour would prolong until its incorporated.

why is it that in order to change your situation, it involves people!!!

Get Up, Stand Up!!!

Wut do u do ven u’re made…as in MADE…2 regret a decision tat u took. Are you a rebel widout a cause?

There seem 2 b way too many low moments and I’m wondering…if this was the right decision, the one that I took, then why isn’t it working out? Simple logic of afta u cook, you eat tat food. If I still believe that this is the right decision cos my instinct says so, my belief, my experience says so…then that’s taken…I do take it…wid the highs and lows. You cant walk into a battlefield and then announce that war isn’t the answer to everything! You cant walk into the battlefield, raise your sword and say ‘Jus had a facial, go easy ya’ll.’ And you most certainly cannot walk into the battlefield, well armored even, looking ahead at the fast approaching enemy – glistening spears, rumbling earth, dust collecting and pushing up, vision blurring – and rethink the move, worse clam up, worst of all…give up.

Feel like swearing, screaming, bawling, disappearing…need a punching bag for a gift. Its so cold outside, you just want to envelop yourself wid I dunno wut…mebbe jus a thick sheet or quilt will do…and then u wanna get all wannabe and say I want those beautiful moments 2 envelop me ya, I want my lover 2 envelop me ya, I wanna make a memory…

Oh, this illusory line between bailing out and still believing!!!

The time has come…I’m standing, feeling taller than the others, knowing sth more than the others, and guess wut I’m most definitely right unlike them dis time arnd…didn’t even need a confirmation abt tat or a reassurance. The next second cums da screwed up question…the time has come 2 bail out or wage war or believe or end everything?

For the first time ever I found THAT…walkin in it...u're outta dis race and i beat u to it. Surprise! Surprise!

For it will all happen, and I’ll smile…and tat my fren s inevitable!!

ah!dis game o betrayal...ironic an @#$%*& up!!

Questions U Ask Ven Turnin 25!!!

Its just you reading this now, so tell yourself the truth. Who or what determines your life? The phase you are going through right now, the friend you were sms-ing a while ago, the kind of marriage your parents have, the boss who always underpays you and specifically you, how about the weather, morals, standards, education, Elvis Presley, Jim Morrison, Kelly Clarkson, current balance on your prepaid card, and oh how about this…a lover, an ex-lover, ex-flames, unknown/known future partner…and this final one is going to take your breath away…do you determine your life? I’m talking about the you – ice-cream lover, spicy food lover, good cook, can’t cook, absolute romantic, arrogant, temperamental, funny, wannabe, confused, illiterate, scared shit, reserved, straight, curled, rebonded…and no this is not an endless list.

Who determines your life? What determines your life? When? On what basis? What kind of base make up do you use? How much of yourself do you let who see? What is with these questions? Do you answer all of them? Are you planning on answering all of them? Have you answered most? Is it the truth? Do I trust you telling me the right answers? Are your answers what I want them to be or are they what they are? Have I always taken you by face value? Or do I know things about you that you wished no one knew? Do you have any idea how much I have judged you? Am I delusional? “You will never know everything!!” you say…I say, “Oh really?” So now you have that look on your face…Is she for real? Does she know? Do I love you?

There’s always a blast from the past today, that throws us into the future…literally. I had promised myself that the romance topic was going to be a no-no in this blog. So guess what I’m still sticking by it. Unless of course this achy-breaky heart is healed, answered.

She told me she didn’t know what love was to her. She knew my answer was going to be ‘It is everything and nothing.’

I think the funniest word ever is ‘Choice’. I wanna know who made it sound so easy in history that we are bearing the brunt of it now! Post my 20-Questions spree, I am signing off. You answer them and lemme know. Bah!

Is It The City That Makes Us???

Bada bim bada boom!!frm a considerably tolerable and nice hometown to a thrivin metropolis...had no clue i wud land up there and jus didnt see the attachment cum thro...i mean HYDERABAD man!! Land o pickles and spicy food...my assumption??

when we figure out its time to move on and change cities, we do so. looking fwd to tat breath of fresh air, ppl and remember tat we have alwez bin told "shiftin cities will do u good.u can do anythin tat u want." s it like tat...do the people make the city or does the city make them?

did u do "everything tat u wanted" in that new city? or are u wid the others..today's robots? "doode i got so mucha work man..don even wanna tk a break 2 pee." notice the "wanna".who ever says tats all there is...on a higher level, the wannabes will tell u its the difference between living in an assumption/delusion/schizophrenia Vs livin in reality. now which one's which?

i had defined my territory; i lived wid tat "people"..tat counsel which tells you "btw u work for us"...hah!the people were weird...crowded streets, frm crazy drunks to surrogate moms...they were all there...all...they live together and continue to wonder if the togetherness was abt disrupting the balance or maintainin it...i lived among them. and so did u.

now come the pickles and spicy food...the pearls the shopping the partyin the stuff...all o it and everythin frm it in one breath. then comes the travel, the opportunities, the monuments...who broke that fort wall...time or the soldiers or were they in the middle of renovating???

now here's the dreaded second part...the other city. a city that shouts with no voice at all. people who hear with no ears. to live in the assumption (yea u can quote me) tat THAT is THE city. fooled by your own sense of foolishness i wud say. so are u jus lyin down on the road while the road roller wid all the tar rooooollllls over you and u wait for it to make the u-turn and come back...then to actually follow it wherever it goes? is that an addictive city or is it just you?there are fellow 'rolled-overs' but u r still alone..get up and get out!its time...

and for the grand finale...home sweet home! ah! thank the man who termed that. worst summers, power cuts rt in da afternoons ven the temp s nth less than a 49 degrees! the myth/curse of the dysfunctional families, the arrogance and the "v look down upon other city ppl...even the district ones" (poor guys didnt know there was a varied range of categories to choose frm while doin sth as simple as shoppin or eatin) Love the arrogance, the rains and the passion 2 work and the quite moments. here my dear...the smile comes thro.and WE can see the doubts and fears and complexities of the others enterin our domain! "oh u're all so docile.." do the lions announce their hunt..can u actually see them send across tat bandi first wid a loudspeaker "yo yo yo v're a comin, watch out!"...the blind others.

so is this how u wud define a city..an influential school of thought thats geographically visible???